Paradoxical Mendacity
[Milady is a trifle under the weather today, so I will take the day off and paste a few witticisms that came my way from a free-thinking friend.]
What You Need To Believe To Be A Republican:
Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney and Rumsfeld did business with him, and a bad guy when Bush couldn't find Bin Laden.
Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.
The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.
A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multinational corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.
The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.
If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.
A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle and antagonize our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.
Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing health care to all Americans is socialism.
HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.
Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.
A U.S. President lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense, but a President lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.
Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.
Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals, Arabs, and Hillary Clinton.
The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's and Dick Cheney's driving records are none of our business.
Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.
Supporting "Executive Privilege" is imperative for every Republican ever born, who will be born or who might be born (in perpetuity.)
What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the'80s is irrelevant.
There's nothing wrong with supporting drunken hunters who shoot their friends and blame them for looking too much like quail.
[Feel free to copy and paste these paradoxical statements to all your friends and enemies.]
What You Need To Believe To Be A Republican:
Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney and Rumsfeld did business with him, and a bad guy when Bush couldn't find Bin Laden.
Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.
The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.
A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multinational corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.
The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.
If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.
A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle and antagonize our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.
Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing health care to all Americans is socialism.
HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.
Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.
A U.S. President lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense, but a President lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.
Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.
Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals, Arabs, and Hillary Clinton.
The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's and Dick Cheney's driving records are none of our business.
Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.
Supporting "Executive Privilege" is imperative for every Republican ever born, who will be born or who might be born (in perpetuity.)
What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the'80s is irrelevant.
There's nothing wrong with supporting drunken hunters who shoot their friends and blame them for looking too much like quail.
[Feel free to copy and paste these paradoxical statements to all your friends and enemies.]
posted by Benedict S. at 3:21 PM
6 Comments:
A few comments on my favorites,even though the quotes are all great.
1.Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science.-The real problem began when politicians introduced climate into their domain.The Greehhouse Gas producers have spent hundreds of millions of dollars sponsoring failed junk science to attempt to prove that global warming is a myth, have spread their lies to the public for many years.The Greenhouse Gas producers are destroying the planet because they want more profits. Currently they get those profits by shifting the cost of pollution control from their own greedy asses to the public, in the form
of death and disease.
Every kindergarden kid is taught to clean up their own mess, but the
polluters claim a natural right to have the public pay for their mess.
2.-If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.If people really believe this then they are more stupid than I relize.It will certainly increase the amount of unprotected sex,more pregnancies,stds.In a national survey of adolescents, 63% of 14-21
year-olds reported engaging in sexual intercourse.Using condoms
can reduce the risk of infection of sexually transmitted diseases
(STDs), including HIV, for those people who are not abstinent.Adolescent girls asking for help buying condoms, in a 1988 survey of Washington DC drugstores, encountered resistance or condemnation from store clerks 40% of the time.Don't think for a moment that your kids aren't having sex.
I forgot to say I hope your lady gets to feeling better real soon.
I hope your wife will feel better soon. Take good care of her and yourself!
Robin & CE. Thanks for the well wishes. Milady does have a mild (I hope) form of lymphoma, but her current problem traces to her eyes. She was born with congenital cataracts, and when she was four y/o, they were surgically removed. Implants did not exist 56 years ago, so she has gone through life wearing optical assists of all sorts.
Her right eye was operated on three weeks ago to put a drain in to relieve the pressures that cause (or are) glaucoma. She and the doc were not communicating as well as they might have. I took her there this morning to have the stitches removed and she learned that she had made a mistake in stopping all her eyedrops three days ago. She was supposed to stop only one of them. The pressure in her eye is now dangerously low, the opposite of glaucoma. So, she was instructed to do no heavy lifting, no laughing, no sneezing, or any other exercise that might cause her eye to hemmorhage. That means, the kid, me, now has to do all the plowing, roof repairs, automobile tire changes (all woman's work, you see). (Actually, neither of us do any of those things.) She's getting bed rest and I do the cooking for the next week. Tonite I prepared two wonderful Subway Italian subs, with all the trimmings, a nice dish of Ben and Jerry's ice cream, and other wonders of modern science. I am a great "cook."
Y'all have a nice evening.
Sounds like you have everything under control! God bless you both...
You will make someone a wonderful wife someday mouse.Good tidings.
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