True Mendacious Occurrences
After delivering myself of that great body of unforgettable truth that appears as yesterday's blog (actually I'm writing this yesterday, too) I decided that I needed a bit of relaxation. Too much earthshaking knowledge in one day can lead to a frightful distemper. So I went to my bookshelf hoping to find there an antidote for the disease.
I happened to espy, tucked away between two huge volumes of assorted lore, a little book-like thing that did more than any man could ask for by way of dispelling an approaching case of the heebie-jeebies. The volume -- I hesitate to call it a book -- bears the title, Eating Democrats, Alien Porn, The Zambian Space Program, and other True Remarkable Occurrences. Beneath the title, in the place normally reserved for the author's name, appears a "truthful" statement intended to explain how this collection came into being. It says it was "Compiled and Annotated by John Train, Illustrated by Pierre Le-Tan, Preface by George Plimpton," all of which has the appearance of truth. Mr. Train was at the time a financial guru gainfully employed by Forbes magazine, and Mr. Le-Tan had earned a measure of fame as a cover artist for The New Yorker and as the writer/illustrator of three children's books. The late Mr. Plimpton needs no introduction, as his involvement in matters of the sort represented by this book had, even before his untimely passing, become a distinguished exhibit in America's museum of foolishness.
But enough of this preambulation. The remarkable occurrences compiled by Mr. Train and illustrated by etc etc etc has provided your (now) more humble Mouse protection aplenty from the overdose of thinking with which he had been afflicted. The potions assembled between the smallish covers of this epi-tome, are designed to cure ailments of all sorts, though -- it must be admitted -- some of the remedies may have side effects. Of that number, one stands out. Here it is, word for word, exactly as the compiler delivered it. This is from the section entitled Affairs of State and bears the title, Chops Populi.
Victor Biaka-Boda, who represented the Ivory Coast in the French Senate, set off on a tour of the hinterlands in January 1950 to let the people know where he stood on the issues, and to understand their concern -- one of which was apparently the food supply. His constituents ate him.
(A footnote describes Biaka-Boda as a "small, thin, worried-looking man.")
This would not be funny if it were not true. 'Twould be just another of the anecdotes for which the French are famous. I'm sure you remember Charles DeGaulle. Need I say more?
Mr. Train has not exactly overwhelmed us with volume. There cannot be more than 50 remarkable occurrences total, but as people like Plimpton say when they are being serious, what they lack in number they make up for by the thinness of the volume. My favorite -- and I will confess to a bias here -- is entitled Hare Trigger. It appears on page 39, in the section called Sport.
Near Louisville, Kentucky, a rabbit reached out of a hunter's game bag, pulled the trigger of his gun, and shot him in the foot. -- The New Yorker, May 1947.
Unlike the episode of the unfortunate Mr. Biaka-Boda, the truth of this tale may be doubted. It seems to me just possible that the hunter accidentally shot himself in the foot and concocted the story of the rabbit, not only to maintain his good name as a careful hunter, but to earn himself a place in history as the only man ever shot by a rabbit. Several of the occurrences in the book are of a similar sort, stories that may have a measure of fact about them but which could be understood differently.
Finally, this one, taken from the writing of a genuine authority. Train gave it the title, Cover-up.
Of Pope John's trial at the Council of Constance in 1414-1418, Gibbon records that "The most scandalous charges were suppressed; the vicar of Christ was only accused of piracy, rape, murder, sodomy, and incest."
Train's footnote perhaps explains why the trial lasted four-going-on-five years. "The council was also attended by seven hundred harlots, according to reliable authorities -- fifteen hundred, according to others."
The book, published in 1978, is probably out of print, but can probably be obtained from one of the internet's used book markets. [Parental guidance advised.]
I happened to espy, tucked away between two huge volumes of assorted lore, a little book-like thing that did more than any man could ask for by way of dispelling an approaching case of the heebie-jeebies. The volume -- I hesitate to call it a book -- bears the title, Eating Democrats, Alien Porn, The Zambian Space Program, and other True Remarkable Occurrences. Beneath the title, in the place normally reserved for the author's name, appears a "truthful" statement intended to explain how this collection came into being. It says it was "Compiled and Annotated by John Train, Illustrated by Pierre Le-Tan, Preface by George Plimpton," all of which has the appearance of truth. Mr. Train was at the time a financial guru gainfully employed by Forbes magazine, and Mr. Le-Tan had earned a measure of fame as a cover artist for The New Yorker and as the writer/illustrator of three children's books. The late Mr. Plimpton needs no introduction, as his involvement in matters of the sort represented by this book had, even before his untimely passing, become a distinguished exhibit in America's museum of foolishness.
But enough of this preambulation. The remarkable occurrences compiled by Mr. Train and illustrated by etc etc etc has provided your (now) more humble Mouse protection aplenty from the overdose of thinking with which he had been afflicted. The potions assembled between the smallish covers of this epi-tome, are designed to cure ailments of all sorts, though -- it must be admitted -- some of the remedies may have side effects. Of that number, one stands out. Here it is, word for word, exactly as the compiler delivered it. This is from the section entitled Affairs of State and bears the title, Chops Populi.
Victor Biaka-Boda, who represented the Ivory Coast in the French Senate, set off on a tour of the hinterlands in January 1950 to let the people know where he stood on the issues, and to understand their concern -- one of which was apparently the food supply. His constituents ate him.
(A footnote describes Biaka-Boda as a "small, thin, worried-looking man.")
This would not be funny if it were not true. 'Twould be just another of the anecdotes for which the French are famous. I'm sure you remember Charles DeGaulle. Need I say more?
Mr. Train has not exactly overwhelmed us with volume. There cannot be more than 50 remarkable occurrences total, but as people like Plimpton say when they are being serious, what they lack in number they make up for by the thinness of the volume. My favorite -- and I will confess to a bias here -- is entitled Hare Trigger. It appears on page 39, in the section called Sport.
Near Louisville, Kentucky, a rabbit reached out of a hunter's game bag, pulled the trigger of his gun, and shot him in the foot. -- The New Yorker, May 1947.
Unlike the episode of the unfortunate Mr. Biaka-Boda, the truth of this tale may be doubted. It seems to me just possible that the hunter accidentally shot himself in the foot and concocted the story of the rabbit, not only to maintain his good name as a careful hunter, but to earn himself a place in history as the only man ever shot by a rabbit. Several of the occurrences in the book are of a similar sort, stories that may have a measure of fact about them but which could be understood differently.
Finally, this one, taken from the writing of a genuine authority. Train gave it the title, Cover-up.
Of Pope John's trial at the Council of Constance in 1414-1418, Gibbon records that "The most scandalous charges were suppressed; the vicar of Christ was only accused of piracy, rape, murder, sodomy, and incest."
Train's footnote perhaps explains why the trial lasted four-going-on-five years. "The council was also attended by seven hundred harlots, according to reliable authorities -- fifteen hundred, according to others."
The book, published in 1978, is probably out of print, but can probably be obtained from one of the internet's used book markets. [Parental guidance advised.]
posted by Benedict S. at 8:33 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home