The Mendacious Mr. Lou Dobbs

I want to talk about the most disgusting pundit currently peddling his wares on cable TV (CNN). I refer to the silver-haired mouthpiece of the far right, Mr Lou Dobbs. Every evenng for at least the past year -- and I do mean every evening -- Dobbs has belched forth on the evils of illegal immigrant labor. As the faithful may recall, we went over this topic a month or so ago, and given that the collective opinion of the Mouse-world represents the "truth for our times," I was convinced Dobbs would get the message and get off his Hitlerian bandwagon.

I didn't realize two things. First, he was (literally) "getting off" on the subject. Now I confess that it wasn't me who noticed this, but one of the Mouse's dearest friends. She advised me to watch closely as Dobbs's rant reaches its apex (every evening), how his breathing becomes more rapid and his eyes begin to scrootch together as he tries to hide the effects of his gathering orgasm. I did watch, and it was true. His efforts to withhold his burst of pleasure actually caused beads of sweat to pop out on my TV screen. I noticed also something else my friend had failed to mention. As Dobbs nears "completion," the little flag pin he wears on his lapel begins to wave, and just as he passes through the rages of petitte morte (I'm guessing about the spelling, FF) the flag gradually folds its colors and sags into a state of reverential repose.

But the orgasmic effects upon old Lou are only his personal reward. Dobbs's bosses at CNN reap a far more tangible, though perhaps less satisfying, payoff -- money. Dobbs appeals to the prurient interests of the American far-right, and as we all know, there is no limit to the amount of horseshit those worthies will swallow if it is packaged as flag-waving jingo-talk or as the "word of God." So old Lou is -- make no mistake -- a commodity, and his palaver but sugar-sweet icing to the tongues of the rabid right.

Five years ago, old silver-hair made his first attempt to enter the Jingo Hall of Fame by vomitting -- again every night -- on the evils of "exporting America." That also sold well with those who love capitalism but hate its realities, but as the punditry of the party line began to line up against our hero on this issue, he gradually transitioned to his present packaging. Hot cakes never sold so well. The maggotry at CNN, seeing how well Lou's sales were going during his regular 6 -7 PM (eastern) weekdays slot, began scheduling him into other shows as an "invited expert" on immigration issues.

A word about Lou's "expertise." As a Harvard educated economist he ought by now to have said at least a word or two about the economic values presented by the use of illegal labor to harvest crops in sunny California and elsewhere. And he could have detailed the effect deportation of all that cheap labor might have on the price of lettuce, or for that matter, on the lettuce crop, which would probably rot in the fields for want of hands to gather it. But no, Lou Dobbs, a man who should be able to speak with some authority on the pros and cons of the issue has -- to my knowledge -- said virtually nothing about anything other than the evils of "our broken borders." He belongs over on Fox News where the viewers are more accustomed to (and apparently, hungry for ) "fair and balanced" bullshit.

Obviously, CNN views Dobbs as their answer to Bill O'Reilly, the top-rated cable "news" pundit over on Fox. To the Mouse, the difference between Dobbs and O'Reilly is that one of them ought to know better and pretends not to, while the other is just a poor l'il old backroom potboiler who's line is so obviously "off" we are inclined to shed tears of pity. Dobbs used to bill himself as Moneyline, but now his marquee is just plain, simple, and unpretentious Lou Dobbs Tonight, champion of the "little people," and vigilant guardian of the Mexican border.

If he had not in the process allied himself with several of the most hateful of America's hate groups, he might be considered as just another feather merchant, doing what comes naturally in the American scheme of things -- chasing the "almighty" dollar (which is, incidentally, getting less almighty day-by-day.) The Nation reports (August 28, 2006) that, in covering a protest against Home Depot for hiring illegal immigrants, "Dobbs aired a clip of California Coalition for Immigration Reform spokeswoman Barbara Coe" identifying her as merely a "protester" when in fact the group (CCC) has been identified as a "hate group." Miss Coe -- no simple spokeswoman -- "in a speech last year, called undocumented workers, 'illegal barbarians who are cutting off heads and appendages of blind, white, disabled gringos.'" And it wasn't as if Dobbs was unaware of the woman's connections and opinions. He had been warned of the "incipient" dangers of some of his guests two years before. So, Dobbs, and CNN also -- by their decision to keep him on -- have allied themselves with forces that, if they had their way, would build concentration camps, and God knows what else, for the illegals and, I suppose, those who employ them. Hence my choice of the word "Hitlerian" in the first substantive paragraph of this fact-filled dissertation.

But let me end up with this: the fault for the success of Dobbs and his likes rests not so much with them as with the public who continue to tune them in. If there were not a market for their hate mongering, it would not be there. As one of the Mouse's fictious characters, Joanna Thompson, once said, "If people are getting pleasure from doing what they do, they're gonna continue doing it, even if what they're doing is wiping their asses with broken beer bottles."

That lady knew whereof she spoke. Dobbs's evil may not be quite so obvious as the toilet habits of the people she referred to, but his, for being made so palatable to the tastes of the ignorant masses, is far more deadly.